"YOU are the doctor"

So this past weekend, I decided to stay in Malone and make a little extra money taking call...and boy was I called...called into stat C-sections, called into the ER to see a toddler who had wondered outside of his house alone where a dog attacked and bit him, called in to help a seizing child who had stopped breathing and needed to be intubated and later medi-transferred to Vermont...as that is where the closest Pediatric ICU is. That case was scary. It's like residency all over again, except there is no attending to report to....IT'S ME! There is a great early episode of the TV show "ER," where the young Dr. Carter has a patient crashing in front of him and he turns to the nurse and says "Page the doctor!" and she looks at him and says "YOU are the doctor!" I definitely felt like that all weekend, but I survived and so did the patients. Here, I have no choice but to get in there and get my hands a little dirty resuscitating newborns at C-sections, managing jaundice on the floor, or working up belly pain in the ER and all of these things are a bit removed from the usual stuff I see in the office: ear infections, flu, vaccines, and cuts that need stitching. But while busy and tiring, it feels good. It is good clean medicine and its keeping me on my toes.

Now onto personal growth: as many of you know, I have been a little lost about what to do next with my career and well, my life in general. Ending the "big" relationship turned my life upside & foiled my grand plans, but it also forced me to become more of an active player in my own life and start making choices just for me. In a lot of ways, having no ties to anyone can be overwhelming but it can also be exhilarating. A friend that I made this winter (and if you are reading this THANKS!) told me that you aren't really ready to be in a relationship until your "house is in order." I really like this phrase and I am pretty sure he wasn't referring to his laundry. For me, my house includes developing a healthy, sustainable lifestyle, securing a job that I am excited to go to everyday, and then hopefully, getting myself ready again to have someone special in my life. A lot of times, if one of those things isn't going well, we try to overcompensate in our life by emphasizing one of the other components. Lord knows I have at points been a crazy fitness person, or have thrown myself into my career, or even let some personal relationships have too much value in my life but in the end I think its all about shaping a balance and for me, this time away is all about getting my "house in order"...Anyway, I have some big ideas but I'll hold off on sharing until THE PLAN takes a more defined shaped...baby steps...its coming along. Trust me ;)

And finally, um...this has been a big couple of weeks for health care. Hello, health care reform bill!!!! While I am over-the-moon happy that something was passed, I am sort of sad at the quality of the bill itself and like many, I question whether the bill is even constitutional. Can the government really mandate that we "purchse" health care insurance and NOT provide some sort of public option? Will our jails become full of health insurance evaders? And how do they plan on dealing with populations like the Amish who can't actually have insurance secondary to their religious beliefs?! Maybe there will be exceptions?

And did you see President Obama nominated a pediatrician to head up CMS? Seems like an excellent choice. I hope he doesn't have any skeletons in his closet and that he paid his taxes fair and square. We don't need another Daschle like experience. http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-03-27/obama-said-to-name-harvard-s-berwick-to-run-medicare-medicaid.html