Feeling blessed

So 8 out of 12 days of call are done! Woo-hoo! or WHOOT! as my friend C likes to say. It's been a busy and tiring week but also a good time for self-reflection. I have to say I am just feeling just blessed to be here and to have this opportunity. And yes, I know that sounds corny, but I genuinely do feel blessed. Coming here and choosing to do "locums" work could have been a diaster. For those of you that don't know, I actually took this job site unscene and only after having had 2 phone conversations with my boss, Dr. B. But man-oh-man, did I get lucky. Even while he has been gone this week, the staff in the office has been so incredibly supportive and protective of my time--shielding away inappropriate visits and helping me handle all the refills and paperwork that go with running a practice. The nurses and I even made some time to get out of the office and go to the "Market Barn"--a sort of tourist shop/deli at the edge of town for lunch. Don't worry, we took pics and I will post soon...me and the girls on a giant wooden tractor! Yes, it's a sight. Let me know if any of you would like me to send you some Adriondack maple syrup or honey! And just to conclude, this experience has just been great in terms of financially securing me, giving me a "break" from the craziness of NYC, and also some time to heal and to think and prioritize. And while lonely here, it's funny how life gives you just what you need sometimes...even if you didn't think you wanted or needed whatever it was to actually happen.

Anyway, from a clinical side of things I went to my first "scary" c-section delivery. A Mom with diabetes who was going for repeat C-section and who had polyhydramnios (meaning a lot of amionitic fluid!) went to the OR on Thursday & when they handed me the baby...she was limp, completely white in color and NOT breathing...and unlike most births I attend, she did not perk up within seconds! After much stimulation and a little bagging, she finally let out a big cry. It was probably the scariest minute and a half of my medical career thus far. As the OR nurse and I took the baby upstairs to the nursery, she leaned over to me and said, "Thanks for being so calm." And I let out a little laugh as I am pretty sure I was sweating through my scrubs the entire time. Other than that though, it has been a good and busy, but relatively diaster free week (knock on wood). I think I am really starting to like this good and clean medicine.

On the personal side of things, well...I did do something for the first time in years this week. I picked up a basketball and started shooting around at the Y. As I mentioned the Y here is actually in an old armory and they in fact, have a full court, old school traditional hard wood b-ball court inside. One night, I just couldn't resist shooting a few jumpers but a few minutes later, I look down and realize I am not alone. There was a couple of 8 and 9 year olds standing next to me. "Hey, you are kinda good. Mind if we shoot with ya?" Then, the next thing I know, I am getting absolutely destroyed in a game of "Around the World" by my new little friends...but I did teach them a thing or two about dribbling. Anyway, a couple of folks my own age also came over and asked if I'd like to play pick up this weekend. I'll let you know how that goes...Dr. Brenda is definitely a little rusty!

I guess I am also getting closer to figuring out what is to come next for me professionally...and I am starting to hear back from places that I have interviewed at in the last couple of months. I/they should be coming to a decision in the next 2-3 weeks. Then it will all be about apartment shopping! If anyone knows of a great 2-bedroom in West Village coming available this summer, please drop me a line. For now, enjoy the weekend folks; hope it's not raining where you are!

the countdown begins

The past couple of weeks have been hectic as you might have guessed from the infrequency of my blog posts. But things are just really starting to heat up as Dr. B and his family are planning to leave me with the practice for 11 days starting this Saturday! In preparation for their departure and also to blow off a little steam, I decided to take a long weekend in NYC. And while seeing friends is always great, the city is just down right exhausting and left me just contemplating if the move back will be the right next step for me. Anyway, here was the schedule for the weekend and some funny things that happened along the way.

Thursday:
6 AM wake up-shower--round in the nursery
8 to 5:30 pm: office time--seeing patients!
5:30 to 6:30pm: PACK
6:30 to 12:30 AM: DRIVE DOWN (with quick stop to fix make-up!)
12:45 AM: Bar #1....hello Standard Hotel--met up with a "friend"...proceed to celebrate trip with a round of champagne (or maybe 2 or 3)...head to Corner Bistro for late night burgers--big YUM!
3:30: SLEEP finally!!!!

Friday
11ish: meet up with soon-to-be roomie and broker-->see tiny, over-priced apartment in west village, am a little discouraged re: housing market, but it's a beautiful day in NY!
1:30 PM: Afternoon drinks at Soho House (Thank you A both for getting me in and also for introducing me to "DANNIJO"--loved their stuff and purchased some "baubles" www.dannijo.com)
3 PM: late lunch at outdoor cafe and walk on Highline-->see "friend" from last night skipping down street holding hands with another "friend" of his...hmm...guess we aren't such good "friends" after all ;) No biggie though, it's not like we were "exclusive" as he so casually reminds me...*sigh*..."You are right big man and now, we will never be"...Dating in NY is TOUGH!!!!!
6 PM: Drive to see Wilco with future roomie and friends! While I have never seen Wilco before or really even listened to their music, am blown away at their ability to play for 3 hours straight! Though roomie is convinced that I am a "sport" for getting through the whole show, I actually loved every minute of it; especially when the band stopped mid-way through show and brought out couches and lamps to kick-it living room style and play an acoustic set! WOW!

Saturday:
11ish: Breakfast on roof of friends' building (T--thx for grilling, you are a rockstar)
1: see apt; LONG walk around West Village in short sleeves & sunglasses
3:30 Meet up with good girly friend "N" for lattes (ok, hot cocoa for me) and gossip
5:30 to 8 SHOP till I drop b/c lord knows, I can only go to the Walmart in Malone!
9 PM: Dinner at my favorite restaurant in NY...great and the menu changes daily. We sat only a few tables away from Katie Couric. Check it out if I haven't already dragged you there: www.ilbuco.com
12-3 Drinks and conversation with 2 of my favorite NY guy friends. Mr M--you are divine & I feel so blessed to have made your acquaintance. Mr G--you + me=great talks, exchange of honest love advice, and perhaps some late night sonnet swapping; thanks for letting me crash on your couch!

Sunday:
Easter in CT with friends (G--your French toast was delicious!) and then 6.5 hours in the car back while listening to some CDs a very good friend of mine has made me (Thanks R--love the William Fitzsimmons if you are reading this).


Ok, so action packed right? But its funny...while I had a great time, I am also pleased to get back to my usual work week routine. Up early, see patients all day, hit up the "Y", and then go to the super Walmart to get groceries and chat with my favorite cashier. (Yes, I am a regular and the night time cashier and I are friends.) And I know...it's Walmart...they are the "devil"...well, listen--put it aside, you can't go wrong in a town like this. The Walmart even as a hitching post so the Amish can come and "park" their buggies!

So what's the deal, right? Am I really a city girl? Or do I really just like a little balance? And its weird....the medicine here is good as in really good clean medicine. Over the past 2 days, sure I have seen ear infections and sore throats...but I have also worked up diffuse lymphadenopathy (and pray it's not a leukemia or lymphoma), cat scratch disease, shingles, failure to thrive...and talked to a Mom about benefits of cloth diapers vs disposables--this Mom definitely taught me a thing or two . And I genuinely like everyone in the office...isn't this the way it is supposed to be? I finish most days, with at least a 30 minute conversation with my boss...sometimes its just to talk about life and sometimes its just to discuss cases. Can you believe he actually introduced me to a cool band last week? "Pink Martini" (www.pinkmartini.com)!!! I can't fathom any of the doctors I worked for at my last group introducing me to a cool band, but maybe that's what makes this time and this place so important and great for me, right? Now the key will be to find a place where I am as excited as I am now to go to work everyday!

Wonder if I could just convince everyone here to come and help me open a practice in Brooklyn!?

More soon...as this is the long stretch folks...15 days...no day off! Man I am going to need to check into a spa! BTW: stay tuned...next blog will have more philosophy and politics and less rambling!

"YOU are the doctor"

So this past weekend, I decided to stay in Malone and make a little extra money taking call...and boy was I called...called into stat C-sections, called into the ER to see a toddler who had wondered outside of his house alone where a dog attacked and bit him, called in to help a seizing child who had stopped breathing and needed to be intubated and later medi-transferred to Vermont...as that is where the closest Pediatric ICU is. That case was scary. It's like residency all over again, except there is no attending to report to....IT'S ME! There is a great early episode of the TV show "ER," where the young Dr. Carter has a patient crashing in front of him and he turns to the nurse and says "Page the doctor!" and she looks at him and says "YOU are the doctor!" I definitely felt like that all weekend, but I survived and so did the patients. Here, I have no choice but to get in there and get my hands a little dirty resuscitating newborns at C-sections, managing jaundice on the floor, or working up belly pain in the ER and all of these things are a bit removed from the usual stuff I see in the office: ear infections, flu, vaccines, and cuts that need stitching. But while busy and tiring, it feels good. It is good clean medicine and its keeping me on my toes.

Now onto personal growth: as many of you know, I have been a little lost about what to do next with my career and well, my life in general. Ending the "big" relationship turned my life upside & foiled my grand plans, but it also forced me to become more of an active player in my own life and start making choices just for me. In a lot of ways, having no ties to anyone can be overwhelming but it can also be exhilarating. A friend that I made this winter (and if you are reading this THANKS!) told me that you aren't really ready to be in a relationship until your "house is in order." I really like this phrase and I am pretty sure he wasn't referring to his laundry. For me, my house includes developing a healthy, sustainable lifestyle, securing a job that I am excited to go to everyday, and then hopefully, getting myself ready again to have someone special in my life. A lot of times, if one of those things isn't going well, we try to overcompensate in our life by emphasizing one of the other components. Lord knows I have at points been a crazy fitness person, or have thrown myself into my career, or even let some personal relationships have too much value in my life but in the end I think its all about shaping a balance and for me, this time away is all about getting my "house in order"...Anyway, I have some big ideas but I'll hold off on sharing until THE PLAN takes a more defined shaped...baby steps...its coming along. Trust me ;)

And finally, um...this has been a big couple of weeks for health care. Hello, health care reform bill!!!! While I am over-the-moon happy that something was passed, I am sort of sad at the quality of the bill itself and like many, I question whether the bill is even constitutional. Can the government really mandate that we "purchse" health care insurance and NOT provide some sort of public option? Will our jails become full of health insurance evaders? And how do they plan on dealing with populations like the Amish who can't actually have insurance secondary to their religious beliefs?! Maybe there will be exceptions?

And did you see President Obama nominated a pediatrician to head up CMS? Seems like an excellent choice. I hope he doesn't have any skeletons in his closet and that he paid his taxes fair and square. We don't need another Daschle like experience. http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-03-27/obama-said-to-name-harvard-s-berwick-to-run-medicare-medicaid.html

1 million stars in the sky

Have to play a little catch up as my blog was "bugged" with a strange virus...now things are back on track and I can get back to blogging appropriately.

So I have to say, the folks I am working for are quite possibly the nicest folks I've met in a very long time and so different yet much the same as my Manhattan acquaintances. While my new friends have no idea what is or who hangs at the coolest new bar in West Village, and nor do they care...they do enjoy good company and great food! So Dr. B and his wife organized a dinner on Friday night at a fantastic restaurant that one of their friends owns and invited several of their professional couple friends to join us for dinner. It was networking...North Country Style. Not only were Dr. B and their friends local celebrities, when we walked in...it was kinda of like Cheers; everyone definitely knew their name. After a delicious meal, I had agreed to meeting some of the ladies for Zumba the next morning at the Y...and had somehow snagged an invite to go to the town's ski resort mountain closing festivities the next night. It included a cook-out in the parking lot of the lodge, fireworks and a torch lighting display that was nothing short of very sweet. There was night skiing and riding and the town's teenagers were ripping jumps, flips, and rails well into the evening. After a cheeseburger hot from the grill and many introductions, my belly was full and I slept very soundly that night as I really appreciated being around people who just simply enjoy hanging out without having to be in the "scene" or constantly networking.

The work week has been nothing short of great. The office is in a white renovated old house (I would imagine it was built in the 1910's) but has super modern exam rooms, rustic appearing though stylish pine hardwood floors and a staff that whipped up chocolate chips cookies today at lunch that made the office smell unbelieable. Dr. B even has a super nifty electronic medical record! And I have loved the pace so far and while some families are very poor and the education level not so high, they are nice for the most part and like most families in pediatrics, the moms just want their kids to be well. More stories to come on this I am sure as the time goes on...but the patients have had some interesting illnesses (for the docs: Common Variable Immunodeficiency) and definitely some interesting social circumstances (yes, I have seen a 3 day old infant born to an Amish Mom who delivered the baby at 2:15 AM on a Saturday and went home by 3pm the same day!!!!!). It's been good and being in a small practice just makes things so much more personable.

Ok, I leave you all with one last thought: When was the last time you looked up at the sky and really checked out the sky? After my workout tonight, I happened to glance up...1 million stars lit up the night. I think I heard my soul sigh in content. I think everyone should take a sabbactical from their life and (re-)learn to appreciate the little things in life.

so the secret is finally out

Last night, Dr. B (the name I will give my boss for the duration of this blog), his wife, their kids and the director of the ER, his wife and their kids had me over for a very nice welcome to town dinner...folks here genuinely are warm and welcoming and dinner was delicious. After a full belly, a couple glasses of wine, and a long get-to-know-ya conversation...the ladies and I have some plans to hit up a Zumba class this weekend at the Y and I got the low-down on the only Nail Spa in town: call ahead...only one person works there!

Today, after 4 days of orientation, I finally sat down with Dr. B and we made the schedule for the next 2 months. And this is when he very guiltily but casually mentions that he and his family are going to be away for 11 days straight in April--as in, I will be the only pediatrician in town going to deliveries and being on-call for 11 days straight. That means ER consults, inpatient rounds, newborns, sick visits, clinic and office...yup, I will be the only show in town. Gulp and sweat beads forming on brow...hmm...something tells me I am going to grow a bunch as a pediatrician in the next couple of months and that my skill set as a doctor is about to dramatically increase. Please Columbia training don't fail me now.

And one more thing about the Mountain Dew Mouth... it turns out, I am a little behind the times. Some of you wrote back to let me know Diane Sawyer from 20/20 was already all over this phenomena last February:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6863173&page=1

Ok, wish me luck all! Tomorrow I head to a school-based health clinic to do sports physicals in the morning and then back to Dr. B's office to see sick visits all afternoon. Finally, some action!

Day One: orientation

For the doctors who are reading this: just when you think you have seen it all, today I was warned about mothers who put Mountain Dew into the baby bottles of their toddlers! Yes, Mountain Dew!!!!!!!! Apparently, there are a number of mothers who do this in town and one of the patient education tips I am supposed to give is to advise against this. Hmm...I may have to hide my sugar free red bull habit otherwise I am a total sham. Also, how come it takes almost 2 months to go through credentialing at any hospital in the city, but up here...it took less than 9 days?

In the meantime, I oriented to the hospital today and have to say, city folk need to take a lesson in friendlyness-everyone and I mean, everyone says good morning and asks how you are doing with a great big smile. Amazing! I certainly felt welcome. And the nurses in L&D had created a giant poster of body builders with the heads of the doctors cut out and put on top of the bodies. Hilarious.

And finally, I joined the only gym in town...the Malone YMCA, which I found out today is an old armory which was sold to the city for $1 and then leased out to the Y. I can't complain, membership is $27 per month and yes, the have precor machines. Unfortunately, there aren't pilates or the delicious smelling shower gels of Equinox but hey, I will be able to work out daily!

Ok, more tomorrow folks. Mountain Dew in a bottle for toddlers. That's the thought I'll leave you all with. Good night.

Day Zero

Hi all--as my friends and family know, this has been one of the toughest stretches of my life. I finished my residency in June and moved to Greenwich, CT to start my "new life" with the love of my life thus far and well, most of you will know the story there...we'll just gloss over the details and leave it as, I got my heart broken and haven't totally recovered just yet (though its getting easier everyday).

I also started my new job in private practice at a group that turned out to just not be "a good fit"...and for months, I was waking up wondering what I was doing in Greenwich in an over-priced 2 bedroom apartment, running to the city 3, 4, or more nights per week to see friends and have a "normal" life while trying to figure out what to do next. Well, this is the "NEXT" or at least the first step to the next big thing in my life.

So last week, I packed up all of my belonging minus 3 suitcases and a bunch of books and put everything in a 10 by 15 foot storage unit and left for upstate NY...to a little town called, Malone, which is an hour south of Montreal, to work a "locum tenens" job. For those of you that don't know what "locum tenens" means...it basically means contract work.

Yesterday, I drove 7 hours to arrive to my temporary home which is a Super 8 motel. Yes, I am living in a Super 8 for the next week or so while my digs are being vacated by some other doctor that had previously agreed to do this work. So as I rolled into town, I found that all those silly things I had said to many of you about this being a Doc Hollywood meets Private Practice meets Northern Exposure sort of thing ring true. There are maybe 4 or 5 restaurants in town, a super Walmart, and a lot of boarded up buildings on Main Street. There isn't a movie theater, book store, or coffee shop for 40 miles. I am told it will be good for my soul.

Tomorrow...first day at the medical center. Fingers crossed and stay tuned for the adventures of Dr. Brenda in Malone, NY.